Why Holiday Traditions? – Cindy Eisel

Why do we use Grandma’s china plates for Thanksgiving dinner? Why do we make a Gingerbread house every Christmas? Why do we visit the cemetery on Memorial day?

A couple of Sundays ago, Vista parents of 5 -year -olds got together to discuss family holiday traditions along with developmental changes. This resulted in some great conversation regarding Advent, Thanksgiving, Halloween and Santa. No one condemned or supported any one outlook for holiday seasons; the Parent Equipping team’s purpose was to encourage parents to intentionally think through the “why” of family traditions.

In her book Treasuring God in Our Traditions, Noel Piper defines an heirloom as “something of special value handed down from generation to generation.” Her premise is that since children generally learn through repeated experiences, family traditions become the heirlooms that define value in their lives. She writes that traditions are a “vital way of displaying our greatest treasure.”

These are the questions we discussed in class:

1. What is my greatest treasure?
2. What is most precious to me?
3. How do I reflect and express that treasure in my life?
4. How can I pass that treasure on to my children and others within my circle?

Noel Piper states: ”We do not know exactly what our children’s strongest, lasting memories will be. But we do want to make sure that our daily, weekly, yearly activities occur in a God-filled context-that we recognize him in all of our life and show him everywhere to our children.” In Exodus 12:26-27 Moses tells the Israelites to prepare for “when their children ask why” they celebrate Passover. Moses knew that children watch and question why we do things or why things are important. He says “when” not “if”. If we are not intentional about processing what we treasure, then we cannot establish traditions that pass our treasure to our children. We will not know what to say when they ask “why.”

My daughter Elisabeth helped the Parent Equipping team teach the 5’s class. She showed the families all of the traditions we have used for major holidays. I did not have to prep her for this – she knew why we did these things. She may or may not choose to hand theses things down to her family, but she has caught what we treasure through these heirlooms and traditions.

So what does that Advent calendar, that Easter Egg hunt, that visit to the cemetery mean to your kids? What heirloom are you passing on by the traditions you set up? Have you thought about what was passed on to you and what you desire to pass on to the next generation? Whether old or new traditions, we need to be prepared for the “why” that will come.

Resources we like:    Treasuring God in Our Traditions by Noel Piper , Bringing God Home by James L. Evans

Family App: Thriving Family has an app download for Advent activities for the whole family this season and other activities for holidays throughout the year.

Tradition ideas from Vista Families: Veterans Day, Birthday celebrations, Thanksgiving or any holiday dinner, Christmas: birthday cake for Jesus, Jesus Stocking, Operation Christmas Child, Family gift for the World, Three gifts

Some resources we use: Nativity Set from Family Life Today, Resurrection Eggs Activity for Easter, Thanksgiving activity bundle

Thinking Legacy and Steve Jobs – Cindy Eisel

Have you ever asked your children to define you in one word? Have you ever asked them what they see as the most important thing for your family? What would they put on a family crest to portray the identity of your family?

I remember when our children were little,  and they brought home pictures made at school depicting scenes from our family life. Sometimes the way our children portrayed Tim and me in these pictures gave a frighting glimpse into what they observed as important to us: Here is Mommy and Daddy working, cooking, watching TV, on the computer etc.

The following is an excerpt from a newsletter from Shepherd’s Press. I thought it was good timing as the biography of Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson is number one on four different New York Times bestseller lists; it speaks to the legacy we leave our kids and what they learn about what we value by watching us.

Steve Jobs was a legend. He was also a master communicator and presenter.  Yet, despite all of this there was one area Jobs recognized where he was still lacking. Steve Jobs was a private man, apparently even from his own children. Several media outlets, including USA Today, put it this way:

“I wanted my kids to know me,” Jobs was quoted as saying by Pulitzer Prize nominee Walter Isaacson, when he asked the Apple co-founder why he authorized a tell-all biography after living a private, almost ascetic life. “I wasn’t always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did,” Jobs told Isaacson in their final interview at Jobs’ home in Palo Alto, California.

Millions have benefited from Jobs’ creativity while his own children knew him not. In the world we live in we often benefit from the losses of others, even if we are unaware of this loss.  Given a personal one-on-one setting, which of us would have been comfortable telling Steve Jobs to forfeit his relationship with children so that we could have an iPhone? But because we didn’t know Steve Jobs, we didn’t have that choice.

This article broke my heart for Steve Jobs and his family. I’m sure they do not need my sympathy, but the lesson hits home. What are Tim and I spending our time and effort on, and how do those decisions affect our family? What do our children think are the most important values of our family? We don’t want to wait until after they are gone from our house or we are gone from their life to pass on values. We don’t want them to read it on a blog, in a book or on a website.

So the conversation in our house begins about how we can be intentional to make space now in our schedule, in our choices, and in our hearts for these moments. How are you doing that in your house and with your kids? What is the word your kids use to describe your family? What would be the symbols on your family crest?

From Shepherds Press: A new book by the author of this newsletter excerpt: Steve Zollos Time for the Talk – encouraging your son to be the man God wants him to be.

Family Crest Activity: websites for creating a family crest and motto – these activities can help your family talk about values and beliefs that are important.

Homemade

With a crest company

Monkey See, Monkey Do – Tim Stauffer

So I was driving down the highway with my 3 kids the other day and was startled by the direction of our conversation. I asked my kids what they thought I would teach them if I could only teach them one thing in life. Immediately they responded that I would teach them to follow Jesus—they were right. But happened next was unexpected to me.

I proceeded to ask them how they thought I would go about teaching them and how they would learn to follow Christ. Immediately one of them said— we will watch you because you will show us how. Wow, what a batch of mixed emotion that produced for me. I was so proud of them. I was so humbled by the privilege of parenthood. And I was kind of terrified. My children are closely watching me and taking their cues about how to do life from what I model for them.  You know, your kids are the same way. By God’s design, children learn best from what they see modeled.

Jesus closely watched and emulated His Father too. In John 5:19 we read, “Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”  I believe the author of Proverbs 22:6 was talking about modeling when he wrote “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” The best training tool a parent has for their children is a life lived with character, consistency, and authenticity.

Modeling well begins with a deep desire for Christ to be formed in you. Join with me in this prayer – “Lord, give me the character I need to be an effective Christ-like parent.”

Parenting Resources we like: Strong Fathers – Strong Daughters by Dr. Meg Meek  and Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas

Spiritual Formation resources: Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard.

Tim Stauffer’s Bio

Tim & LaRonda Stauffer and their 3 children have been attending Vista since early 2010.  In addition to leading a Life Group with his wife, Tim also serves as a Life Group coach and is part of Vista’s teaching team. Tim is a professional counselor in private practice specializing in marriage counseling, sexual addictions, and the diagnosis and treatment of mental and emotional under supervision. To learn more about Tim you can visit his website at www.timstauffercounseling.com

Daughter of a King-Rikki Letizia

Several weeks ago I was driving home early from work so that I could help my teenage daughter prepare for a high school football game. She had been on my heart all day and when she had called me at the office I had offered to leave early and come home to help her with her make-up.

During my daily driving I had been praying for her, most specifically been praying that she would feel confident that evening amongst a new group of peers. Let’s face it being a teenager is just one of those times when most of us are still figuring out who we are and where we are headed. A couple of verses kept knocking around in my head during my prayers,

‘Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God—’  John 1:12

‘The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.  Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.’ Romans 8:16-17

I knew what I needed to say to her and really, when I wasn’t face to face with her  – my confidence was mighty.  Fast forward to an hour and a half later when we were sitting on my bathroom floor; my daughter, her friend, and I and we were rushing through the make-up process because we were running low on time. My daughter’s nervousness was palpable.

Oh, did I forget to mention there was going to be a new boy who would be at this football game? There was a new boy (of course) and she had been confiding in me about her perceived deficits.  I felt prompted to tell her about the verses, but I was also eyeballing her friend and not wanting to embarrass my daughter. Finally, I had decided that it wouldn’t hurt either of them to hear what I needed to say.

“You are the daughter of a King and this is really, at the end of the day, just a high school boy.”

She looked at me dumbfounded, “What?  I don’t even know what you are saying to me right now?”

I saw the friend looking at me, like I had completely lost my mind.

“God is the King of Kings, Lord of Lords…” I implored in the verbal shorthand only she and I seem to share.

She started to giggle and said, “Oh!  I thought you were saying dad was royalty.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.  “Um, if your Dad were a king I would totally be rocking a tiara right now and someone would be doing BOTH of our make-up.  Seriously, though I just want you to get your identity from the right place here and you are a daughter of the King of Kings.  I just don’t want you to forget that or get wrapped up in the stress of things that don’t matter.”

As I finished her make-up she was quiet and introspective as she was taking in what I had said.  I asked her if it made sense, if it would be helpful to her at all?  She told me that it did make sense and that she felt that it would be a helpful reminder throughout the night.

As a parent I just wanted to be sure that she felt the freedom of what that means.  That she felt and continues to feel the boost in her self-worth that it should give her.  We are not a commodity whose value is determined by how popular the school or the world tells us we are that day.  Our true value lies in the worth of our King.

Verses are a great way to battle self-esteem issues for ourselves and our children. I have used this for myself personally and with my children. Below I have listed some negative statements and some verses we have used to repudiate any negative thinking with regard to their self-worth:

I don’t like myself, I am not attractive, I am not good at anything

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  Psalm 139:14

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…”  Jeremiah 1:5

“He has made everything beautiful in its time…” Ecclesiastes 3:11

“But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

I can never do this, it is too hard:

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”  Isaiah 40:29-31

“…Everything is possible for him who believes.”  Mark 9:23

I don’t fit in, everyone is more popular than I am:

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:2

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.   And the God of peace will be with you.”  Philippians 4:8-9

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”  Galatians 1:10

Bible App we like for itouch and ipad: “Bible Shaker is the quickest and easiest way to get Biblical passages and individual verses to help you in all areas of your life. Just choose a category and “shake” a scripture out, then click on the passage to read it. Need more? Shake it again to get another scripture.”

Resource we like:

199 Bible Verses for Teens

Daily Grace for Teens – Cook

Praying the Scriptures for your Teenager – Berndt

LifeCoach your Teens – Cross

For the Bible tells me so – Ali Hooper

I’m a far cry away from having the answers to much. And I’m most certainly a far cry away from having the answers to much about parenting. Heck, I’m not even 4 years into this gig. And let’s not fool ourselves, experience doesn’t necessarily equal wisdom anyway.

But I wasn’t designed to know all of the answers. And I’m okay with that. Because I hold firm to a promise that my good Lord made me: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5, ESV)

Phew! Does anyone else read that and feel the semi truck being lifted off of their shoulders? God gives us complete permission to ask Him for wisdom, and without even an eye roll, He gives wisdom generously.

Parenting is one of those life journeys that kicks my tail more than it builds me up. And I’ve never found comfort that in today’s culture – Christian and secular alike – we are offered a million and one resources and books about being the perfect parent.

At the end of the day, there’s only one book that delivers absolute Truth, and it’s the only one not authored by a sin-filled man. And it’s the only one that speaks to my heart in a way that keeps my blood flowing and my heart beating.

I don’t have all the answers. But thanks be to God that I know someone who does. He lives in me, and when I call on Him for wisdom – which is more often than my prideful got-it-all-together flesh would like to admit – He is there with discernment or a prompting or a nudge.

It is the absolute best piece of advice that I can give any parent – from the one who has yet to meet their unborn baby to the one whose children are now producing children.

Read your Bible. All the time.

No, it won’t tell you how many hours between feedings or whether or not to homeschool. And don’t expect to find a hidden formula for your teenage daughter’s curfew.

But I am confident that His living and breathing Word will guide you as you wander through the wilderness of your greatest and most challenging blessing – the gift of parenthood. Turn to Him for wisdom; He promises to give generously when you do.

Resources we on the Vista Parenting Team like if you are just getting started with applying the Bible to life or parenting situations:

The Bible Promise Book

Wise Words for Moms

Regrouping with the Shema – Cindy Eisel

It’s that time again: regardless of what your fall contains, your family dynamic changes. Tim and I have figured out over the years that a change of season is a good opportunity for our family to regroup and review our priorities. Sunday night we will sit down as a family, talk about, and write out goals together. This is getting much more interesting as the kids get older and can set their own goals without much guidance. It used to be when they were little that we could just tell them what their goals would be. We also like to pick a family verse for the year that we memorize together.

Printable Resources for Family Goal Setting: family_goal_setting_chart, daily-routine-printable, Goal setting worksheets

I have been doing a lot of reading this summer on the Shema. Jewish families pray the Shema twice a day to remind them of their faith. We teach these verses from Deuteronomy 6: 4-9 as a great reminder of biblical priorities and principles in the homes of Vista families; you will see it contained in all of our parent equipping materials.

Here is what Fr. Callistus Isara has to say about the importance of these verses in the Christian home:

“Undoubtedly, there is a great challenge today for parents and guardians to transmit the faith, Christian values and morals, to their children…Oftentimes, parents abdicate their responsibility to transmit the faith and Christian values to their children because they are busy pursuing wealth and other material things… One of the ways parents can transmit religious education and values to their children is to begin by taking an inventory of their own religious and moral values.”

Parents should ask themselves: What are my priorities? What do I value most in life? How is my faith integrated with my way of life? How seriously do I practice my faith?

The answers to the above questions will help parents to work on themselves to grow in the spiritual and moral life, and then transmit them to their children first, by their way of life and then, by instruction. For example, the best way to teach our children the importance of prayer is for them to see us pray regularly. Christ’s disciples watched him pray over a period of time before they asked him to teach them how to pray. Jesus replied to their request by teaching them the “Our Father…” (Luke 11:1-4).  Furthermore, parents and guardians must make their home a conducive place for transmitting the faith to their children through a regular and sustained family prayer pattern, open discussion of moral issues, acquainting their children with the Bible so that they can have love for sacred scripture, teaching children the value of sacrifice and service of others, teaching them in kindness and generosity, teaching them in giving and not only in receiving, and reaching out to the poor and the less privileged in society, etc.

The Jewish people took very seriously the command to teach the shema prayer to their children. Hence they were largely successful in imparting the Jewish faith from generation to generation. In order to sustain the Christian faith in the family, we must courageously strive to practice the faith with utmost commitment and, in turn, hand it on to our children and our children’s children… If adults are not fervent in the practice of their faith, it becomes terribly difficult for them to pass the faith to their children since no one gives what one does not have. Just as the Jewish people took the shema injunction seriously, we must likewise take the practice of our faith seriously. May God give us the grace and the courage to truly practice our faith.”

We use the example of the Shema to refocus our family on goals involving every area of our lives. We talk about spiritual, mental, emotional, social and physical goals for each member and line up our priorities around those goals. This allows us to make sure our family schedule is not skewed to one part of our life but equal in all areas. Hopefully, if done well and if we persevere in our goals, this intentionality allows us all to grow in each area and provides unity within our home.

Websites we like: Families with a purpose, and Simple Kids

Practical Advice from Miriam Caldwell (Member of the LDS church: I agree with her approach but do not advocate for her theology)

The changes that we make do not always need to be big ones, but it is important to continue to make changes for the better. You can talk about some areas that you think the family members should each make individual goals in. Some possible areas include spiritual goals, physical goals, relationship goals, and education goals. If you have small children you may just want to choose two categories with one goal each. As your children grow older you may have them set more goals. You can then record each child’s goals and later print them up to hang in their room as a reminder. To encourage your children in achieving these goals you should discuss the steps that each one needs to take in order to achieve the goal. You may want to create a checklist for the child to mark off as he finishes each step towards his goal. You can post the charts in his bedroom or in the kitchen, so that you can encourage everyone as a family. You may want to set some family goals as well. These could include things such as family home evening or scripture study. You could also set goals to spend more time together exercising as a family or spending an extra night a week or a month together. You can set a goal to eat dinner together a few times a week. The goals can really be tailored to your family’s needs. Once you have determined your family goals (one or two is usually best) then you can create a chart for each step in the goal. You should celebrate as a family each time you reach a milestone.

Communicating God As Father to children

From Living with Teenagers magazine by Shera Thiele

“Though there is no adequate way to compare God, our heavenly Father, to our earthly dads, there is biblical evidence that God as Father signifies a close relationship of security, warmth, grace, and attachment. Biblical scholars, in their transliteration of “abba,” find significance in looking at the intimate relationship between God and His Son, Jesus. This model helps us understood not only who God is, but also who men were created to be as earthly fathers”

“Research had identified several key factors related to the importance of father-child relationships in God image development:

• Fathers who want their children to see God as nurturing should identify way to express nurture and tenderness in their relationship with their child.
• Children who perceive their parents as punishing and judging-with low level of nurture-tend to maintain an image of God as punishing and judging
• Fathers who don’t want to be seen as hostile, indifferent, or rejecting are less likely to see God as present and accepting
• Communicating warmth in relationship with your child in highly related to your child understanding God as a stable presence, an accpeting diety, and a challenging higher power
• Demonstrating care in the father-teen relationship is a rich predictor of certain characteristics in an adolescent’s God image.

Relational experiences that occur during the developmental stages of of childhood and adolescence leave indelible marks in our stories. What do you remember about your relationship with your own father? Evaluating how you related to your own father will help you develop compassion, understanding, and empathy for the way your teen relates with you. It’s not too late to influence the development of your teen’s God image.”

Practicals:

1. Grace: Tell your child that they are enough for you even with all their flaws.
2. Attachment: Practice one-on-one time and undivided attention with your child
3. Intimacy: Discuss your child’s interests to understand their perceptions and desires.
4. Forgiveness: Acknowledge when you hurt your child and ask forgiveness
5. Warmth and Care: Make eye contact and smile at your child everyday

Discussion starters:

1. Read 1 Chronicles 17:11-14. What did it mean to the ancient Israelites to see God as their Father? Why is it important for you to know Him as Father?
2. Read Galatians 4:4-7. Why do you think Paul used the image of adoption to describe our relationship with God? In what was has God adopted us?
3. Think about your friends and other peers. How do you think their fathers have influenced their understanding of God-for good or bad?
4. How do you think your understanding of God has been shaped by what you see in my life? What are some areas where you see God in me? What are some areas of my life that seem to contradict what you know about God?

Knowing God & Parenting: Another Blogger’s Perspective

by Ali Hooper

I love stumbling upon blogs that make me step back and think about the big picture of my life. I Take Joy by Sally Clarkson is one of those blogs. Recently I read her post, Parenting: It all starts with your view of God, and I absolutely love what she wrote.

Two things in particular really stuck with me:

1) Clarkson emphasizes the importance of spending time with God – in His Word – as a foundational element to who we are as parents. She writes, And so, when it comes to child training, if people have not had the opportunity to think Biblically or to study the word of God, and about what God is like, they will look to others for “truth.”
This is an area where I am learning. The Holy Spirit has been teaching me WHY quiet time is important – how it will better my life. It’s not simply a discipline for discipline’s sake. No. Not at all. It’s truly a gift to spend time with God (and I’d argue that it’s a necessity), and by better understanding Him and His Word, I will become a mother who shows Jesus to my children, as opposed to a mother who follows the trends of my surrounding society.

2) I have never been a rule or formula follower when it comes to parenting (or much else in my life). I’ve never read a single parenting book in its entirety, and of the resources I have read or skimmed, there’s always an element here and there that doesn’t jive with me. I love that Clarkson reminds us that as Christians we are filled with the Holy Spirit, and through Him we will have the tools and resources that we need to be Godly parents. Are books helpful? Absolutely! But are they to be followed to a t? Unless it’s the Bible, I think we have to be very careful what we follow religiously.

Clarkson expands on this idea, saying, In the Christian life, even in parenting, God gave us a brain to think, a conscience to nudge our hearts, the Holy Spirit who lives inside of us to guide us. All He asks is that we live by faith in him dependence on Him. And yes, I think through this process, God has given a mom intuition and a mom’s instinct for what is best for her child. God always loves to lead us and work through us by faith in relationship to Him and what He is impressing us to do, within the beautiful design of our femininity and womanhood. That is why it is crucial that we are spending time in His presence and seeking to build a foundation of conviction on scripture and knowledge of God.

I so appreciate Clarkson because she reminded me that through seeking God, I will have all the tools that I need to parent my children. It’s not about a specific method or researched system, it’s about pursuing God in every aspect of my life. As Clarkson puts it, My own parenting of my four very different children was a process of seeking wisdom, studying scripture, listening to God, following other wise people. It was a process of relationship and love with Him, not following the formulas that it seemed most of my peers were following. We went against the grain of the culture we were surrounded by, and yet found the wonderful presence of God in our home as we sought Him.

I pray that as I lean into God, I find His wonderful Presence alive in my home, filling my children with the love that only God can show them. And ultimately filling me with what I need, minute by minute, to guide, protect, encourage and parent my two very different yet equally precious children.

4 Examples of Wisdom for Family Development

Read Proverbs 30: 24-28

We spent the 40 days before Resurrection Sunday with verses that give families direction in wisdom. Concluding that that theme, Proverbs 30 reveals the wisdom of four small but mighty creatures. These creatures remind us how we can seek God in our families. The writer of Proverbs 30 includes these creatures as a reminder of how wisdom can sustain and strengthen us: preparation, security, unity, and tenacity.

Preparation: the marvel of the writer lies in the ant colonies collective, and, as it were, organized action. Ants are used as an example of action with forethought and planning.

• Are we setting goals and objectives for how we want to be known as a family?
• As a family, how do “store up” what is good physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and socially for when we need it?

Security: The writer is using coneys or rock badgers as a example of finding security in a challenging environment. Most commentaries believe him to be speaking of rabbit, mouse or badger type creatures. According to Matthew Henry’s commentary, they are to be commended for the wisdom to make their houses in the rocks where they are well guarded, and their feebleness makes them take shelter in those natural fastnesses and fortifications.

• As a family how do we make our home on the “rock” that is Jesus?
• Do we commit everything regarding our family to prayer and blessing or  build our decisions on our own needs, wants and efforts?
• Do we talk about our weaknesses and God’s strengths in our home?

Unity: Locusts go forth gathered together. According to scientists, locust-swarms perform with apparent order and discipline. Their concentration is on work not status among themselves; they can bring help or destruction to the land. Gill’s commentary on the Bible describes locusts as being “all gathered together as one…their affairs and manner are in a beautiful disposition.” In a family the sense of personal weakness or humility should engage us to keep unity together, that we may strengthen one another.

• Does our family “march together” through this life?
• Are we encouraging one another and building each other up?
• Do we celebrate each unique personality in our family as a gift from God to our life for growth opportunities and perspective?

Tenacity: Many versions disagree on wither the author meant lizards or spiders but the lesson remains the same. Tenacity is necessary for the survival of both. Matthew Henry puts it this way;

“spiders are very ingenious in weaving their webs with a fineness and exactness such as no art can pretend to come near: they take hold with their hands and spin a fine thread out of their own bowels with a great deal of art; they are not only in poor men’s cottages, but in kings’ palaces, notwithstanding all the care that is there taken to destroy them. Providence wonderfully maintains those kinds of creatures–not only which men provide not for, but which every man’s hand is against and seeks the destruction of. Those that will mind their business and take hold of it with their hands, and may go on with it, notwithstanding the difficulties and discouragements they meet with. If one well-spun web be swept away, it is but making another.”

• As a family, do we choose a mindset of perseverance in any life situation?
• Do we believe God will be faithful to our family?
• Do we give up on or discount each other because we have different talents?
• Are all members accepted and encouraged to become who God created them to be?
• Do we keep moving forward together even when the world is not peaceful or kind?

40 days of wisdom – wise vs foolish

Parents:

As parents, it is hard to seek wisdom in our own lives let alone teach our children to do the same. Satan desires to paralyze us with guilt over our foolish life decisions. We do not feel we can speak into our children’s lives because of behavior that we exhibited in the past.  Parents who refuse to share  lessons learned from mistakes miss a prime discipleship opportunity with our children. Proverbs empowers Christians to embrace mistakes and learn from them. Use these verses as guidelines on how to speak to your children – 13:14, 16:21, 15:23, 18:20

“Good teaching come from good learning and Proverbs has more to say to students than teachers. Proverbs is concerned with the learning of wisdom. The book makes is clear that there are no good alternatives to learning wisdom. We are either becoming wise learners or refusing to learn and becoming foolish failures. Proverbs encourages us to make the right choice.”(from Life Application Bible)

High School (taken from the Life Application Bible)

Read through these verses and compare Wise Learners and Foolish Failure. Make a chart and then compare it to the following one. Discuss a foolish failure in your life and how you changed or may change to a Wise Learner. Ask your high schooler to pray for you this week to be wise in your home, job and relationships.

Wise Learner vs. Foolish Failure in Proverbs

10:8, 23:12, 25:12 = Quietly accepts instruction and criticism vs. Ignore instruction

12:1 = Love discipline vs. Hate correction

12:15, 21:11, 24:6 = Listen to advice vs. Think they need no advice

13:1 = Accept parents discipline vs. Mock parents

10:17 = Lead others to life vs. Lead others astray

13:18 = Receive honor vs. End in poverty and shame

15:31-32, 29:1 = Profit from constructive rebuke vs. Self-destruct by refusing rebuke

Middle School – taken from  youthspecialties Talk sheets: Psalms and Proverbs

Read the following with Proverbs 18:2. Everyone has an opinion. Some people state their ideas on all kinds of things that they know nothing about. Godly wisdom, however, teaches people to seek understanding, insight and knowledge. It teaches people to listen more than talk. It teaches people to respect others who are speaking or walk away from foolish people who talk inappropriately, too much, in anger, with name calling and those who talk about nothing. How much does your family value words? Do you treasure them or waste them. More verses on your words: Philippians 2:14, Proverbs 27:2, Proverbs 17:5, Titus 2:12, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 20:3

Discussion Questions:

1. Have you ever heard someone talk about something that they knew little about? What were your thoughts about the person while they were talking?

2. What would you do in this situation? Your friend always has a lot to say about everything. The problem is, he doesn’t really know a lot about most of the subjects or topics. Sometimes you’re embarrassed for him because he makes such a fool of himself. You want to be his friend, but want to help him too.

3. Have you ever had someone interrupt you when you speak? How does it make you feel when you get interrupted? Do you interrupt others often? Why do you do it? Do you care about what they are saying or only what you want to say?

Elementary and Preschool

Hard-boil one egg and let cool. Mark one egg with an “A” and the other with a “B”, or whatever marks you choose, so you can tell them apart. Show that the hard-boiled egg is easy to spin around like a top, but the uncooked egg will not spin as often as you try. You will compare the hard-boiled egg to someone with a hardened heart who will not receive instruction. Just as we can spin the hard-boiled egg, the devil can make someone with a hardened heart do things they know is wrong because they will not listen to teachers, parents or grandparents. They will not listen to God’s instructions in the Bible either.

What you will say:
I have here two eggs. Except for the fact that one is marked “A” and this other one is marked “B”, they look the same. However, they are very different. Let me show you. I need one volunteer. (Give the volunteer the hard-boiled egg.) What I would like you to do is spin this egg around like a top. Can you do that? That was easy, was it not? Now I need another volunteer to spin this other egg. (Give the second volunteer the uncooked egg.) What is wrong, are you having trouble spinning this egg? Some children may know already, in any case let the children experiment with the two eggs for a moment, and then ask to have them back. Explain that the difference between the two eggs is that one is hard inside, while the other is still liquid. We can spin the egg with the hard inside around.

The Bible says, “Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord, but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble” (Proverbs 28:14). This hard-boiled egg is like someone with a hardened heart and will not accept correction. Satan can make this person do things they know are wrong. Someone who is obedient to the Lord, and does not let his or her heart become hardened can resist the power of the devil. Like this egg with the soft center that we cannot spin around, a Christian who is obedient to the Word of God, accepts instruction and who follows the Lord cannot be controlled by sin. We must make sure our hearts do not become hard, like a hard-boiled egg.