Why Holiday Traditions? – Cindy Eisel

Why do we use Grandma’s china plates for Thanksgiving dinner? Why do we make a Gingerbread house every Christmas? Why do we visit the cemetery on Memorial day?

A couple of Sundays ago, Vista parents of 5 -year -olds got together to discuss family holiday traditions along with developmental changes. This resulted in some great conversation regarding Advent, Thanksgiving, Halloween and Santa. No one condemned or supported any one outlook for holiday seasons; the Parent Equipping team’s purpose was to encourage parents to intentionally think through the “why” of family traditions.

In her book Treasuring God in Our Traditions, Noel Piper defines an heirloom as “something of special value handed down from generation to generation.” Her premise is that since children generally learn through repeated experiences, family traditions become the heirlooms that define value in their lives. She writes that traditions are a “vital way of displaying our greatest treasure.”

These are the questions we discussed in class:

1. What is my greatest treasure?
2. What is most precious to me?
3. How do I reflect and express that treasure in my life?
4. How can I pass that treasure on to my children and others within my circle?

Noel Piper states: ”We do not know exactly what our children’s strongest, lasting memories will be. But we do want to make sure that our daily, weekly, yearly activities occur in a God-filled context-that we recognize him in all of our life and show him everywhere to our children.” In Exodus 12:26-27 Moses tells the Israelites to prepare for “when their children ask why” they celebrate Passover. Moses knew that children watch and question why we do things or why things are important. He says “when” not “if”. If we are not intentional about processing what we treasure, then we cannot establish traditions that pass our treasure to our children. We will not know what to say when they ask “why.”

My daughter Elisabeth helped the Parent Equipping team teach the 5’s class. She showed the families all of the traditions we have used for major holidays. I did not have to prep her for this – she knew why we did these things. She may or may not choose to hand theses things down to her family, but she has caught what we treasure through these heirlooms and traditions.

So what does that Advent calendar, that Easter Egg hunt, that visit to the cemetery mean to your kids? What heirloom are you passing on by the traditions you set up? Have you thought about what was passed on to you and what you desire to pass on to the next generation? Whether old or new traditions, we need to be prepared for the “why” that will come.

Resources we like:    Treasuring God in Our Traditions by Noel Piper , Bringing God Home by James L. Evans

Family App: Thriving Family has an app download for Advent activities for the whole family this season and other activities for holidays throughout the year.

Tradition ideas from Vista Families: Veterans Day, Birthday celebrations, Thanksgiving or any holiday dinner, Christmas: birthday cake for Jesus, Jesus Stocking, Operation Christmas Child, Family gift for the World, Three gifts

Some resources we use: Nativity Set from Family Life Today, Resurrection Eggs Activity for Easter, Thanksgiving activity bundle

Thinking Legacy and Steve Jobs – Cindy Eisel

Have you ever asked your children to define you in one word? Have you ever asked them what they see as the most important thing for your family? What would they put on a family crest to portray the identity of your family?

I remember when our children were little,  and they brought home pictures made at school depicting scenes from our family life. Sometimes the way our children portrayed Tim and me in these pictures gave a frighting glimpse into what they observed as important to us: Here is Mommy and Daddy working, cooking, watching TV, on the computer etc.

The following is an excerpt from a newsletter from Shepherd’s Press. I thought it was good timing as the biography of Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson is number one on four different New York Times bestseller lists; it speaks to the legacy we leave our kids and what they learn about what we value by watching us.

Steve Jobs was a legend. He was also a master communicator and presenter.  Yet, despite all of this there was one area Jobs recognized where he was still lacking. Steve Jobs was a private man, apparently even from his own children. Several media outlets, including USA Today, put it this way:

“I wanted my kids to know me,” Jobs was quoted as saying by Pulitzer Prize nominee Walter Isaacson, when he asked the Apple co-founder why he authorized a tell-all biography after living a private, almost ascetic life. “I wasn’t always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did,” Jobs told Isaacson in their final interview at Jobs’ home in Palo Alto, California.

Millions have benefited from Jobs’ creativity while his own children knew him not. In the world we live in we often benefit from the losses of others, even if we are unaware of this loss.  Given a personal one-on-one setting, which of us would have been comfortable telling Steve Jobs to forfeit his relationship with children so that we could have an iPhone? But because we didn’t know Steve Jobs, we didn’t have that choice.

This article broke my heart for Steve Jobs and his family. I’m sure they do not need my sympathy, but the lesson hits home. What are Tim and I spending our time and effort on, and how do those decisions affect our family? What do our children think are the most important values of our family? We don’t want to wait until after they are gone from our house or we are gone from their life to pass on values. We don’t want them to read it on a blog, in a book or on a website.

So the conversation in our house begins about how we can be intentional to make space now in our schedule, in our choices, and in our hearts for these moments. How are you doing that in your house and with your kids? What is the word your kids use to describe your family? What would be the symbols on your family crest?

From Shepherds Press: A new book by the author of this newsletter excerpt: Steve Zollos Time for the Talk – encouraging your son to be the man God wants him to be.

Family Crest Activity: websites for creating a family crest and motto – these activities can help your family talk about values and beliefs that are important.

Homemade

With a crest company