I was a bully. As the youngest of 5 kids, I rarely back down from confrontation. I know I owe many apologies to classmates over the years for verbal attacks. I don’t remember ever getting called out on it at school or in organizations for it.  My mother would have been devastated, as she felt I was the sweetest person in the world. Schools and organizations now have programs to fight bullying. It is a great way to be involved at your school or organization in order to get to know other parents and kids. Christians need to shine the light in this area in public and at home. Bullying is abuse and it needs to be addressed –especially in the Christian home.

Conflict management based on biblical principles needs to be taught, practiced and modeled to children everyday at home. Trish Berg is a writer and speaker who equips and encourages parents in this area. I have included a link to her blog here as it has a great practical steps approach called S.T.O.P. to teach and practice with kids. It is filled with applicable biblical references to move families toward conflict management techniques to protect themselves and help others in the community.

How to Live Out Your Faith While Protecting Your Children from Bullies – By Trish Berg

Practical Parenting Tip: We taught our children to say “so” when someone taunts them. Saying “so” deflates the abusive language of a bully.

Website we like: Peacemaker.net

In 2003 we went to King’s Island Theme Park with the families of our life-group from Heritage Christian Church. These families still tell the story of the day the Eisel family suffered a very nasty and very public meltdown.  As a family, we had four totally different agendas: 3 year old daughter wanted to play on the playground, 6 year old son wanted nothing to do with rides, pregnant wife wanted to sit,  and husband wanted to ride. In hindsight it is obvious that the theme park was not the best place for our family to spend the day. We could have made it work if we had discussed our desires and needs beforehand; however, we had set ourselves up for failure.

The screaming, crying and yelling that ensued could have been prevented with a little communication. I’m sure that would have been appreciated by the other families we were with, the staff of the park and hotel and the other people driving back from Cincinnati. We learned that day to communicate our desires, plan for the success of everyone, and not measure our family’s needs based on other families.

This time around we looked at a map of the park and made a plan. We asked every person what two things they would like to do most. We designated specific rest stops and times. Then we all agreed to be flexible enough to deviate from the plan for the needs of others. This gave us as chance to talk about selfish desires and compromise as a way to love others. We also talked about how this time we would leave the screaming and yelling for the rides.

Parenting resources we like: Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sande and The 10 Best Decisions Every Parent Can Make by Bill and Pam Farrel

Parenting Tip: List goals verbally or in writing before any family outing. Compromise is easier for all when expectations and limitations are talked about before hand.